Funny thing how I trust blogland...

Trying to catch up with blogs I usually visit, I started to think it's really funny how is it that all this blog thing makes me (and a lot of other bloggers) be so open-hearted. I know part of the blog world is about expressing our thoughts and everything, but it really amazes me that I can talk here about things I haven't tell ANYONE.

There's the TTC thing (I learned today that's "trying to conceive" haha). E and I are being very discrete about this all thing, answering with evasives and trying to change the subject whenever the "and when are YOU going to have babies?" question is asked (which happens a lot, by the way). More E than me, we don't want to have the extra pressure of saying "yeah, we're trying" and then after some months people start "well, weren't you trying?" or talking behind our backs "yee, they must have some sort of fertility problem, poor them"...

We can barely handle our own pressure as to add up all that other pressure, but then it's also a little unconfortable to be always making up something, or saying anything stupid to move on to another subject. So that's where this blog comes in, to allow me to tell the absolute truth, knowing that all of you out there are in some sort of way in the same status as me. And believe me it helps me A LOT. So thank you!

The other "secret" subject I can only refer to in this blog is E's job. I haven't talked about it but will now. Thing is, E is a sociologist. Cool profession, but in Chile it's not easy to find a job outside the government (where jobs are really lousy for sociologists). Luckily, E has always found pretty good jobs, and he's currently working as a researcher in a University and also works almost as a partner in a consulting company that his co-workers at the university have. He has been very happy because besides his fixed income, he earns a % of the projects he participates in. And there has been a LOT of projects.

The problem is that a few weeks ago, the university (a private one, owned by a bunch of morons that have no clue about doing business) decided that as less students entered this year to that university, they don't have enough budget to finance the media research center my husband works in. Have you ever heard a research center that has to generate money by itself? I mean, research centers are that: RESEARCH, they're not providing products or services that people pay for. Even more, actually this center generated a lot of money, because some big media companies asked for some market studies and payed a lot for them. But for the university, it wasn't enough. So they'd rather be THE only university without research centers, than having to pay my husband and his co-workers (only 2 of them) for making the studies. Unbelievable don't you think?

Well, as you might guess, E is really upset about this. Not only because the lower income (all of his fixed income came from the university), but also because it was a good job, and he was really happy about it. So for now, until May 10th (my birthday, how ironic!) he continues with his both jobs. Then, only with what this consulting company may generate. They offered (before this whole university thing) him to be a partner, but it's a really small company, not consolidated yet, so being a partner isn't at all THE solution. Of course it's better than nothing, but it's a little like a lottery. If the company starts to grow, ok, but maybe after the current projects, there will be no more. And that's where my husband is right now: should he look for another job, that he likes less but can give him some sure money at the end of the month? or should he become a partner? or should he continue working as "free-lance" there, until the company grows enough to give him a fixed income? or until he finds another job that he likes AND gives him more money?

So, here we are, worrying about TTC, but also about our financial stability for the future. The thing is, we have some debts, so despite we get to live pretty well, we don't have any margin left, we use pretty much all of our incomes. This is temporary, while we finish paying a couple of credits (I don't know how you call it when you borrow some money from the bank, and then pay a fixed amount for a determined period of time), but that is next year!

Sorry, this was not very entertaining, but as I said before, this is the only place where I can talk about this. Anyway, we are still on the TTC (loved that!!) journey, but I know E is really worried thinking if we're going to be able to live as we have til now. Well, he's REALLY smart, so I know he won't have any trouble finding a job if things doesn't go great in the consulting company, but anyhow, it has given us a few good headaches!

Sometimes I think we should move to another country, where they could really appreciate how smart E is and where there are better jobs for what he does. But then I start thinking about my family, my friends, and I don't know if I could be far from my loved ones. Pretty selfish thinking, but of course it's not that simple. E doesn't speak english that well (thinking of english speaking countries) and he doesn't have any post-graduate degree, so I don't think it could be easy to just move to another country. Anyway, I still believe that God knows why things happen the way they happen, so there am I, hanging to my Faith and hoping this year ends with good news in the TTC AND job issues!!

See ya'!! (and thanks again for reading me!!)