Here we go again...

I remember clearly saying I wouldn't stress so much about TTC anymore, that I would try to think less about it and continue with my life...

But here I am, cd 15 or 16 (well, at least I'm not THAT aware!), and I'm already thinking "did it work out? could this be the month?"...even though we weren't that active...but what do you know, there are so many people who have gotten pregnant the ONE time they had sex (or so they say), so why do things have to be so statistical every time?

Well, the good thing I'm not that worried because my parents, sister and smallest brother are right now flying towards US: orlando and miami (disney and beach/shopping...lucky them!), and I gave my mom very specific instructions for her to buy me a Fertility Monitor (I checked on the prices and buying one over there it's like 30% cheaper, and given the opportunity, of course I took it!), with a picture of the box and all. So I'm more anxious about starting to use the monitor than anything. I'm sure it will make things a lot easier!!!

Because among other things, our sex desire is pretty low lately, of course mainly because this TTC stress..it's almost impossible to separate sex from "baby-making", and it puts a really big pressure on us. Take yesterday for example. E was really really tired, he even felt asleep watching TV, well, that's not so strange, but it was 8 pm!! and then when I told him let's go to bed, he barely opened his eyes and continued sleeping....he did make an attempt, like "today we have to!"...and I really wasn't able to go for it, I too was very tired and E was sleeping before I could answer....see? so there you go, unless I ovulated somewhere between sunday and yesterday, we lost our fertility window...but what can we do! there really are some days when we can't!!

And well, of course there's the "what for" thinking, that's well settled in our minds for a couple months now...you know? what's the point of making the effort, if as much as we try, nothing happens....

So that leads me to my original thought, that I now would LOVE to have a BFP to finally be able to relax!!! Because I feel that each month that goes by, we're less and less motivated. Don't get me wrong, we're more and more motivated to HAVE a baby, less and less motivated to MAKE one...LOL....

Well, we're thinking of going to a little trip on december, as to celebrate our anniversary... nothing too big, in fact, we're thinking on going to Mendoza (Argentina), remember I went with my grandma, mom, sister, aunt and cousins? Only this time we're planning on going by car!!! no more airplanes for now LOL...So I hope that trip (if we actually go!) can help us relax, disconnect ourselves from our routine, and hopefully can bring with us a fertilized egg!! LOL (I will check the dates to see if I will be fertile!!)

Ok, no more for now!!!