Getting better in the flight issue

First of all, thanks bbc for your support!!!! I know there's still a tiny little hope, specially because I've continued to go to the bathroom (yes, I'm peeing a lot, but that's usual for me), and no signs of spotting or anything like that, it was just the dirtyness this morning. Anyway, I'm getting a HUGE headache right now, that's also a sign my period is undeniably close, and I'm on a stupid-mood also!

Well, but the thing I wanted to comment was that I think I found the reason of my flight-terror. I mean, I know I'm somehow a control freak and being on a plane makes me feel "out of control", but as I've been reading a lot on this subject, and somewhere I read that many times the flight-terror is not that, but another kind of phobia or something.

So I was thinking about that, and yes, I think I'm most "dreadful" of leaving E alone, not because I think he'll do something bad or anything, but I don't know well, maybe I'm scared of not having him "where my eyes can see him". I know I'm sounding like the worst possesive person in the world, but of course I'm exaggerating, I think it's the idea to be far from him that makes me uneasy. That, and of course this TTC that has me really stressed out and all.

So to sum up, I think on one hand leaving E here and going somewhere without him, and on the other hand, a lot of tension I have been gathering over the last months, are all canalyzing in the trip, and as ridiculous as it may seen, to discover that makes me a lot calmer, so much that I'm not even thinking the plane will crash anymore, because in some way I found the real thing that's bugging me.

I insist, I'm not that possesive or untrustable, but changes have never been well tolerated by me, I mean I get all sorts of strange reactions, stomachaches, headaches, grumpiness, and so on, because I need some time to adjust. I know this is a temporary and pretty short change, but anyway it's something different.

I hope I continue to discover more things, as to get to the plane as calm as possible!!!