Just to be sure

I'm just back from a really nice dinner we had with E (yes, we like to go out for dinner a lot). Now I left him at a place where he was going to meet his whole university generation (sociologists), no couples allowed.

I'm really tired, so I think I'm going to go to sleep very soon, but I wanted to leave this somewhat humilliating post.

I tested. BFN for me. Of course.

My only excuse is that I wanted to be really sure I wasn't pregnant as to have some alcohol without guilt. Also, I wanted to take some medicin for my "irritable intestine sindrome" because I had a bad stomachache, so just to be sure I did the test.

Of course I shouldn't have done that, because it was so evident that there was nothing there. But that high temp confused me, that's why I wanted to be sure.

The only good thing is that only after I had the result, I commented to E, in a "so loose" way, trying to sound completely un-upset about it. So at least I didn't drag him to my impulsiveness like other times.

But that attitude lasted like 10 minutes, because on the way to the restaurant I was very near to break down.

Luckily, there's nothing a good meal and a good conversation can't fix LOL. And E told me about his good friend, whose girlfriend cheated on him (that didn't surprise me much because I've never liked that girl), and E's friend was so sad and thinking he would be alone forever and all that. So that got us thinking that we are indeed very lucky (or blessed, as you prefer to see it) in a lot of ways, specially to have each other. I insist that we're "above media" in terms of loving each other and a lot of people comments me what a good couple we make, how lucky I am to have E and everything.

So at least, that lousy comparison made me a little more confident on this next month TTC. This will be the 4th month, that's when I got pregnant last year. Hopefully it will be the same this time, only without the m/c of course.

Sweet dreams for everyone!!