Niece!!!

Today my brother and SIL had an u/s, and it turned out their baby is a girl!!!!!!

This is quite a surprise, considering on the last u/s there were 80% chances it was a boy, and we were already talking about the baby boy, with a name and all. We'd even bought some boy stuff!!!!!

Well, anyway my brother and SIL and very happy, they will call her Juliet (yes, like Romeo and Juliet). I'm not particularly fond of that name, because it seems to be a pretty popular name around our local "celebrities", but they like it, so that will be it.

My sister told me my dad didn't seem very thrilled about these news, because he always thought it would be great for my brother to have someone to teach men stuff to. But I agree with my mom, who said "well, God is perfect, so this must be perfect". I think that too.

About my feelings, as I told you before, I no longer feel jealous, in fact I'm pretty excited about this new member of the family. I think I finally accepted the fact that they are going to have their baby and not me. It sounds pretty obvious, but I really had a hard time getting used to the idea that things hadn't come out the way I'd planned them to.

And, I'm starting to get like "bored" with this TTC, I'm really pretty pissed off that it can't be "natural", for example yesterday I was so so so tired that I couldn't bring myself to "conceive". I mean, E was very tired also, so none of us made an attempt to "get close". But I'm a little worried, because I think I'm losing my faith in it, you know?

It's like sometimes I've thought "well, that's it, I will stop trying". I've even have this thought about artificial insemination, that hopeless I am now.

I feel having sex isn't that fun anymore, even if when I'm at it I have a great time, it's not like I'm thinking "yeah! today it's wild sex night!". If it weren't for the TTC pressure, I'm sure it'd be a lot more exciting, but we lost that "spontaneous" thing a long time ago (when we started trying). We sure do have "bad timing" good sex (on non-fertile days), but for the most of it, it feels like an appointment more than anything. And what pisses me more is that I don't have the right to be tired on fertile days because I loose the chance that month. Why do we have to have so short "fertile windows" I wonder...

And of course, E continues in a "limbo" in his work, he still haven't got an answer from his bosses, telling him how much are they going to pay him!!!!! So he works more than 12 hours a day, but there's no money for him. That has him really down and worried, and of course it affects our intimacy also...

Well, I hope we can still have a chance this month, I'm only in CD12, and my temps haven't rised enough yet, and CM isn't all that egg-white looking, but I'm afraid my mense arrives a little early...

Anyway, I'm getting to do some things that aren't allowed in pregnancy:
- I'm going to the beauty salon (that's how you call it??) monday, to cut and dye my hair (not dye completely, I have this things, mmm...like sections of hair that are lighter, but it looks very natural), because the doctor told SIL that you can't do that while pregnant.
- I plan to go to the dentist VERY soon, I think tomorrow, because that's another forbidden thing, and I'm starting to get a huge pain in one tooth.
- And maybe go to the dermatologist, because I think I have a "growing" mole (of course, I'm a little hypocondriac) that is getting on my nerves, specially after a friend told me about a friend of her husband who was just diagnosed skin cancer after discovering a malign mole.

Well, that's about it for now!