Monday, October 30, 2006

Tough day

Saturday, I realize now, was a tough day...

It was my MIL's family reunion. She, her 6 sisters, and all their sons, daughters, grandchildren...with their spouses of course (in case there was one!)...so we were like 60 and it was my MIL the one who organized everything, but E and I helped her a lot because she's not used to be in charge of these things....

Apart from the tiredness and tension of being somehow in charge, worried that everything was fine, that everybody was having a good time and all...I've come to realize that it was pretty tough to see that all of E's cousins (they're 18) have children...all of them! Well, E's the second younger cousin, followed by a female cousin who's about 30 years old, but anyway, it took a lot of strength to see all of them with their children...I played a lot with some of them, because I've always liked kids!! But E told me one of his cousins asked him something like "are you trying to have a baby? because Josefina's so good with kids, so patient!" and E told her that yes, that we were actually TTC...only to hear her say all the regular stuff about just relax, it will come when the time's right and all....

In fact, we had quite some good amount of the "and the babies, when?" chat that's really exhausting...another E's cousin asked me and when I answered something like "yeah, we're on it, but it's not that easy", she went on with the so typical speech about having a good time now that we don't have kids and all that. She was clearly a little uncomfortable with my answer, I could tell...I kept thinking about Melissa's post of people having to take charge about possible answers to their questions. If they ask about us having kids, they should think if they're ready to hear my answer even if it's not what they would like to hear...

I mean, why do they ask in the first place? What are they expecting to hear? If I was pregnant, of course they would know...so the possible answers are either "we're on it" or "we don't want kids yet"....if it's the first one, then be careful! maybe we've been trying very hard and if they're asking, there's a chance they could make us feel uncomfortable! If we don't want kids yet, why do they want to know? Why do they care!!!

Well, of course it's not their fault I'm so sensitive with this issue, and I, too have asked that question so many times!! But it still pisses me off when they don't know what to answer...this cousin really messed it because when I first told her that we were TTC she said something like "well, you're just married, you haven't even been married for a year"...and I told her "ehhh...no, we've been married for almost 2 years now"and she "well, it's not that much time anyway" (but with that "oops" tone you know?), and then my "it's not that easy speech" that was followed by a "were you taking contraceptives for a long time? (I knew she was preparing the "when you've taken those pills for a long time, your body takes some time to adjust back" speech) and when I answered here that I haven't taken them in a long time and that indeed I didn't use them for long, she really didn't have a clue of what to say next, so the conversation ended with her saying: "well, you can do stuff now that you don't have children"....LOL...poor girl, she was so clearly clueless! But then again, I insist, if she wasn't prepared to an "unwanted" answer, why on earth did she ask!!! If I didn't know better, I would've believed she had read Melissa's blog about "most annoying things people ask to IF couples"....I really couldn't believe every thing she said was worse and worse. Of course she didn't mean (and I'm sure she never thought about this after our conversation) to make me feel bad, but I really felt bad...for her, for being such a pain in the ass without knowing it...and for us, that (for the zillionth time) we haven't been able to conceive yet....

I thought, if E and I are so good with kids, and like them so much, why...WHY???

Well, at least my fertility monitor is working ok I think...it has already showed "high fertility", even if I'm only on day 7! But it said on the instructions that on the first month it can show a lot of high fertility days, because it doesn't know my cycle yet. Despite that, I think we're starting our campaign a little earlier...who knows? maybe I have a long lutheal phase and that's the whole problem..!! LOL...we'll see...

Events coming up: My niece's baptism (today I bought her the cutest baptism dress!), my mom's birthday, a close friend's engagement ceremony, a wedding, our little trip to Mendoza...ufff...that's some end of year!!!

1 Comments:

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Paige said...

I am sorry about your bad day.....it seems that people JUST don't GET IT!

 

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